the french.


i am still on the point of nervous breakdown. i wonder
if i should just jump ship? i dont know. i am worried
about how much strain i put on my emotional self---you
know, worries about just falling over. its strange,
but i keep thinking about this girl i knew in
college--i told you about her, her name was laura? she
got all crazy on cocaine and then started bringing
home male strippers, etc--she went to rehab and then
snuck out and got drunk and hit someone with a car.
and now her parents have just ditched her.
and she writes everyone these wierd crazy emails---she
has just lost it. i wonder if she was bipolar all
along?

okay. i dont think i am bipolar, nor am i on the path
of destruction she is on. I work, go to school, look
at sales, worry about law school, and call my
boyfriend sappy names: but i do worry that this point
of life is kind of a teetering stage over the edge. i
guess i kind of feel like going crazy like laura did?
i dont know. i wont be going crazy, but yes--as i am
sure you know, sometimes it seems like a nice release.

then, i guess to make me laugh, d tells me that the
car we are driving home to texas from his parents
house has vanity plates that say, 'la sirena'

so i have stopped worrying about me having
the funny family........i love this vanity plates idea.

so. to my clan: what can we do to top this mermaid car???
well, i guess we'll try our hardest.

i am already crying about christmas. egad. humbug?

o man. o paris.

just a
bedroom, minimal kitchen use, and three minute showers
ever other day (le madame's rules)

so????? ahhh life.

what we do when hurdles are in the way defines us,
right?

but my hurdle is a landlady on morphine--
i have fantasies of spraying her with the bathroom hose.

yes, hose.-- the bathroom situation--maybe that is
my biggest problem with france? why oh why only 3
minutes? the thing is, all we have is a tub--and no
shower curtain, just a hose and a tub.

what can you do in three minutes with a hose? and no
curtain?

i guess just make sure you wash what's
important........