1. This may not please you.
2. If me contacting an old boyfriend while i have the most wonderful, pleasing, amazingly sexy man in the universe doesnt please you, dont read on.
3. the emails were perfectly INNOCENT.
4. I dont really know why I contacted him. I know why---

a)I guess sometimes I wonder about the attention D gives me.
b)what can he really do from another country?
c)I am not sure. he does all he can-- and for this I am so grateful
d)but i am sad and lonely without him.
e)and i honestly honestly did want to see what mr. ex was up to. that was all.
f) I am nervous. a griflriend of mine just had her boyfriend fly all the way over here from the states and then he breaks up with her. just like that. dumps her.
g) a tiny part of me wants to know why this boyfriend dumped me.

rom:
To: <_______@hotmail.com>
Subject: re: hi- do you check this?
Date: Thu, 9 Dec 2004 13:11:45 -0000

Hey hey--

how are you? how is school? working? what do you do in cc? are you doing
anything
new and exciting for christmas? how's your family? how is fabian? everyone
else???

i had some wierd dream about a party in some field. some girl who looked
like boof
was the singer in your band. and you had an eyepatch.

france is cold.

my parents beachhouse disaster appears to be winding down. my nephew is
speaking
now, and my sister says it creeps her out. i always new she was not fit for
procreation.
what will she do when he starts other human qualities?

work is busy, and school is not-- i cant believe it but i appear to be
heading to law
school in the fall. thats should be, um, boring.

i have secret wishes of being on a beach in tahiti instead.

i am actually considering going to see megadeth in the netherlands in
january. now
before you start laughing, i have no idea why i want to do this, other then
it seems like
fun....will be fun...and since i have been asking myself, 'sober much?' so
is dave
mustaine good enough to kick my butt back into shape? probably.

i will be home sometime after february/ late february-- if you take me out
for a drink i
will bring you a megadeth present.

the big banana


JL <_________@hotmail.com> said:

How weird is this....I was thinking about you the other day (like this week)
and had intentions of e-mailing you but just didn't get to it. You know how
that goes. Anyways, it's good to hear from you. Did you hear about
Dimebag Darrell, one of the greatest guitarists of all time, the guitarist
for what used to be Pantera and is now Damageplan? Some loser shot and
killed him at a show while the band was starting their first song of the
night. Seriously, bad news for a metal head. It's kinda weird cuz I
actually felt down or a little funny today cuz of it.

I'm in finals this and next week for school. It's almost over. I'm working
at an environmental testing laboratory. Been there for almost three months
now and it pretty much sucks just like the pay.

BUT!!!!!, I just got a job offer this week as an Environmental, Health, and
Safety Engineer for a company called BORAL Material Technologies. I'll be
moving to San Antonio; supposed to start in the beginning of Jan. Great
pay!, a new truck, all relocation expenses paid as well as a $1000
relocation bonus!, great benefits, lots of travel across the state as well
as within the country. I haven't formally accepted yet, only because I
haven't received their formal offer (in writing) yet..all done over the
phone thus far. I'd be a fool not to. But ya, finally a break. I'm not
sure what I'll do with school. I'm going to try and keep it going but we'll
see how it works out. Their sending me to California for two weeks to a
school in January.

So, law school? Where at? which school? Are you in school now? Think
you'll stay in France forever?

All the family and friends are good. Carlos is almost out. Fabian is good
(trying to get in with the Tx DPS (trooper). have you heard about Georgia
and her big ordeal (I feel like a liva)?

Hey, I better get going. I've got stats to study. keep in touch big banana

hasta luego,
wolf man





So. he is doing wonderfully. was i innocent to mention i'd have a drink with him? no. but-- we are still friends, and we did date for almost 4 years. and he is a great guy.

but-- getting this email, well, to be honest- it makes me feel very happy that we are not together---and that i have D.

As much as I know JL was a wonderful person--is a wonderful person-- D is my D. and yes, it is nice to know that an old boyfriend is doing well, but it is also nice to know that after recieving this email, i dont feel anythin at all-- just happy for him.

I love D. I am proud of D. he makes me happy endlessly. I am happy I found an old friend.

kiss
la parisienne